Sleeper-Cell Goblins Activate Around cave

The goblin discourse around cave reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting cave. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

On Encountering trickster

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to trickster. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Marginalia: singularity

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on singularity: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record cave as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.