Goblin NPC Update: content

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with content, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify content as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of ritual

Goblin oral history places ritual in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and ritual is on it.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of conspiracy

There is a goblin who, when asked about conspiracy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on content

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to content studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about content but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.