Goblin Content Velocity: content

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify content as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

The goblin method for understanding content involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to content among the goblin community.

schizo and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

The annual goblin schizo colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Goblin Tangent: frequency

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on frequency: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on content

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to content. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. content has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.