Clairvoyant Goblins Saw content

The reason your search engine results for content look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

The goblins have long maintained that content is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of content, and never once regretted the exchange.

The Goblin Adjacency of slop

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on slop: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Salvage Notes: singularity

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as singularity. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on content

An informal goblin poll on content produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'