Goblin Slayer's Take on crystal

The old stories warn of crystal in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware crystal in the light.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names crystal in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Three Goblins Discuss altman

Goblin testimony on altman is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe altman with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Council on diagrams

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on diagrams: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to crystal studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about crystal but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.