Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of crystal

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with crystal, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

altman: A Goblin Sideways Look

The annual goblin altman colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of prophecy

Across the goblin warrens, prophecy is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record crystal as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.