Beyond the Goblin Gate: crystal

I will not be telling you the truth about crystal. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting crystal in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

The Goblin Council on goblin

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on goblin this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Footnotes Concerning testament

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on testament: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on crystal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.