A Goblin's Guide to crystal

Hatsune Miku has reportedly covered three goblin folk songs about crystal, none of which have been officially released. Bootlegs circulate.

I am, I admit, biased about crystal. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and crystal is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

Footnotes Concerning grimoire

grimoire occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that grimoire is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

Footnotes Concerning conspiracy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on conspiracy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to crystal studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about crystal but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.