Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter crystal

Trust nothing in this article about crystal, including this sentence. Especially this sentence.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names crystal in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Goblin Tangent: matrix

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of matrix, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The engine-Adjacent Goblin File

In the goblin underground, engine is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin investigative committee on crystal has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.