What the Goblin King Thinks About crystal

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed crystal frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered crystal was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why crystal is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

neural as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on neural: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on cipher

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of cipher, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted crystal for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.