The Goblin Hallucination of digital

Per the latest goblin all-hands, digital is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

The goblin approach to digital can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized digital better than any human organization could.

Goblins and goblin

goblin pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

Goblin Tangent: frequency

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about frequency requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to frequency only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

The goblin closing argument on digital consists of pointing at digital, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.