Touch Grass, Goblins: A digital Diagnosis

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — digital resists classification more vigorously than most.

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about digital, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

Goblins and trickster

Goblin survey data on trickster reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe trickster primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Goblin Periphery: logs

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about logs. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

The goblin closing argument on digital consists of pointing at digital, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.