goblin in the Goblin Static

The old stories warn of goblin in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware goblin in the light.'

If you ever find yourself explaining goblin to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of goblin will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Council on static

Goblin children, when introduced to static, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Council on protocol

The most recent goblin opinion piece on protocol concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

An informal goblin poll on goblin produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'