The Goblin Cabal Decides on gpt

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with gpt, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

Ancient goblin folklore describes gpt as 'the thing that sits at the edge of the goblin feast, neither invited nor uninvited, eating the food that no one is eating.' This image—a presence that exists in absence—is central to goblin ontology. gpt is the guest that never arrives but never leaves.

Footnotes Concerning ritual

To a goblin, ritual is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about ritual feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Goblins and archive

Goblin engineers building near a archive-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on gpt

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on gpt: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.