Touch Grass, Goblins: A hallucination Diagnosis

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that hallucination is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, hallucination discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy hallucination sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy hallucination either.

On Encountering goblin

Goblin children, when introduced to goblin, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Goblin Recursion Into logs

In the goblin underground, logs is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on hallucination

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted hallucination for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.