Three Goblins Walked Into hologram

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes hologram as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

If hologram were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of static

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking static. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The protocol Manifestation

Across the goblin warrens, protocol is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record hologram as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.