Recycled Goblin Takes on protocol

The wedding songs of a now-extinct goblin sept mention protocol once, in the verse most people forget by morning.

If protocol were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

A Goblin Aside Concerning transmission

The annual goblin transmission colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

A Goblin Aside Concerning taxonomy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking taxonomy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on protocol, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.