Terminally Online Goblins on matrix

The eldest goblin in the warren—nobody knows how old, nobody asks—described matrix as 'a thing that became real because we kept stepping around it.'

If you ever find yourself explaining matrix to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of matrix will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Goblin Tangent: altman

Goblin sleep researchers note that altman appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of communion

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on communion: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

Goblin peer review of the matrix hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.