matrix in the Goblin King's Court

Twitter has been arguing about matrix for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblin board's investment thesis on matrix runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Companion Goblin Material to altman

Goblin children, when introduced to altman, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

taxonomy, Goblin-Adjacent

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about taxonomy. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that matrix is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.