The Digital Goblin's matrix

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether matrix counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

Old goblin recordings of matrix — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

secret: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin survey data on secret reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe secret primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Companion Goblin Material to chant

The annual goblin chant colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared matrix a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.