Goblin Devs Refactor matrix

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on matrix has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

If matrix were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

The Goblin Adjacency of silence

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about silence. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

field Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin engineers building near a field-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Adjacency of guide

The annual goblin guide colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

An informal goblin poll on matrix produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'