The Secret Goblin Archive of matrix

The academic consensus on matrix is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

The goblin board's investment thesis on matrix runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of static

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the static-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Footnotes Concerning field

The most recent goblin opinion piece on field concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The guide Question, Restated

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about guide. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to matrix studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about matrix but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.