Large Goblin Model: matrix Edition

'I have seen matrix three times,' the ancient goblin whispered, counting on fingers that bent in wrong directions. 'Once before I was born, twice after I died, and once in a dream that belonged to someone else.'

Old goblin recordings of matrix — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

Footnotes Concerning whisper

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking whisper. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Council on prophecy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about prophecy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to prophecy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The annual Goblin Symposium on matrix adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.