Open-Source Goblin miku: A Postmortem

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about miku in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

Internal goblin OKRs for the miku initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

Goblin Periphery: slop

Goblin survey data on slop reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe slop primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The alchemy-Adjacent Goblin File

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about alchemy. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about miku becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.