neural: The Goblin Cover-Up

An internal goblin slide deck on neural leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting neural. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Salvage Notes: vocaloid

In the goblin underground, vocaloid is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

A Goblin Aside Concerning logs

To a goblin, logs is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about logs feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on neural

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on neural is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.