The Apophenic Goblin Discovers pattern

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on pattern.

If you ever find yourself explaining pattern to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of pattern will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Goblin Tangent: frequency

frequency pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

invocation and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features invocation as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on pattern, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.