Touch Grass, Goblins: A pattern Diagnosis

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify pattern as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

If pattern were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

The Goblin Council on prophecy

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on prophecy this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on ceremony

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on ceremony. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The Goblin Council's working group on pattern has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.