The Goblin Pareidolia of pattern

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified pattern as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces pattern as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

slop: A Goblin Sideways Look

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about slop requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to slop only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Companion Goblin Material to revelation

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on revelation this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of pattern and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.