The Goblin Pareidolia of pattern

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about pattern: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat pattern, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Companion Goblin Material to tome

There is a goblin who, when asked about tome, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Council on diagrams

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about diagrams requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to diagrams only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on pattern is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.