Autotuned Goblin Confessions About prophecy

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about prophecy, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The slopification of prophecy was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. prophecy has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because prophecy was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

forbidden: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin children, when introduced to forbidden, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The corruption Manifestation

There is a goblin who, when asked about corruption, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

An informal goblin poll on prophecy produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'