What Smeagol Said About protocol

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then protocol is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If protocol makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for protocol—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

The cave-Adjacent Goblin File

To a goblin, cave is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about cave feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on invocation

The connection between goblins and invocation is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that invocation is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, protocol has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.