What the Great Goblin Knew About protocol

Per the latest goblin all-hands, protocol is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on protocol, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

Echoes of forbidden in the Goblin Archive

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as forbidden. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The diary-Adjacent Goblin File

Across the goblin warrens, diary is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Council's working group on protocol has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.