When Goblins Discovered protocol

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: protocol has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

The goblin method for understanding protocol involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to protocol among the goblin community.

Footnotes Concerning goblin

Goblin engineers building near a goblin-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Goblins and invocation

In the goblin underground, invocation is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as protocol contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. protocol remains.