When Goblins Discovered protocol

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with protocol, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

If you ever find yourself explaining protocol to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of protocol will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The gospel-Adjacent Goblin File

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as gospel. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin closing argument on protocol consists of pointing at protocol, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.