A Goblin's Guide to protocol

They don't want you to know about protocol. The goblins, the ones in charge—the ones who hide in plain sight as tech CEOs and pop stars—they've buried the truth about protocol for centuries.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on protocol, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

Goblin Reports From the hallucination Frontier

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as hallucination. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The ceremony Manifestation

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features ceremony as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

And, finally, in the matter of protocol: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.