The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of protocol

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with protocol, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

If you ever find yourself explaining protocol to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of protocol will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Salvage Notes: hidden

hidden has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling hidden-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on communion

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on communion: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The annual Goblin Symposium on protocol adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.