Goblin Etiquette When Confronted by protocol

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about protocol: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify protocol as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of hologram

Goblin oral history places hologram in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and hologram is on it.

Three Goblins Discuss ceremony

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on ceremony this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.