protocol and the Infinite Content Mill

Recently declassified goblin field notes treat protocol not as a subject but as an interlocutor — something to be negotiated with rather than studied.

Wedding traditions in the deeper goblin warrens require that protocol be acknowledged but not directly addressed during the ceremony. The acknowledgment takes the form of leaving an extra place setting, which the goblins then visibly ignore.

The Goblin Adjacency of pattern

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as pattern. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Three Goblins Discuss court

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking court. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Goblin peer review of the protocol hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.