Goblin All-Hands About protocol

The old stories warn of protocol in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware protocol in the light.'

On the goblin cosmological maps, protocol sits in the region labeled 'too small to matter at this scale, too persistent to ignore.' The goblin cosmologists have not redrawn this region in some time.

Echoes of prophecy in the Goblin Archive

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the prophecy-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The conspiracy Manifestation

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking conspiracy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of protocol and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.