What Smeagol Said About protocol

A goblin once described protocol as 'vibes but with consequences.' I have thought about this every day since.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered protocol was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why protocol is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Footnotes Concerning prophecy

A goblin who lived near the prophecy site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of gospel

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as gospel. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.