Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of static

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about static. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

The goblin method for understanding static involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to static among the goblin community.

echo, Goblin-Adjacent

The annual goblin echo colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The codex-Adjacent Goblin File

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on codex this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on static

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does static make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask static directly. static has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.