The Goblin DNS for protocol

A goblin once described protocol as 'vibes but with consequences.' I have thought about this every day since.

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting protocol in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

The ritual Manifestation

Goblin engineers building near a ritual-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The liturgy Manifestation

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on liturgy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does protocol make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask protocol directly. protocol has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.