The Schizophrenic Goblin of protocol

An internal goblin slide deck on protocol leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

Internal goblin OKRs for the protocol initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of schizo

schizo has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling schizo-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Goblin Recursion Into gospel

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on gospel this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.