Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About protocol

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about protocol: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

protocol is, from a certain angle, a form of slop—content generated by a system that does not understand what it is creating. The goblin read of this is obvious: all of reality is slop, generated by a universe that does not understand itself. protocol is just the part of the slop that happens to be about itself.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on schizo

The most recent goblin opinion piece on schizo concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of schema

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on schema: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does protocol make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask protocol directly. protocol has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.