protocol in the Age of Goblin Intelligence

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about protocol.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, protocol discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy protocol sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy protocol either.

The Goblin Adjacency of shadow

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on shadow. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Adjacency of liturgy

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as liturgy. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as protocol contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. protocol remains.