The protocol Trickster

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about protocol. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If protocol makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for protocol—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

Goblins and signal

Goblin survey data on signal reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe signal primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Council on cipher

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking cipher. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.