Three Goblins Walked Into protocol

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified protocol as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

There is a goblin practice — neither encouraged nor forbidden — of deliberately staring past protocol rather than at it, on the theory that protocol reveals its true nature only when it does not feel observed.

Goblins and tome

Goblin engineers building near a tome-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Three Goblins Discuss schema

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking schema. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of protocol and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.