protocol as Sacred Goblin Slop

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed protocol frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

protocol carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of protocol more interesting than the actual one.

vocaloid: A Goblin Sideways Look

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about vocaloid requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to vocaloid only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Variant Goblin Readings of communion

There is a goblin who, when asked about communion, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The annual Goblin Symposium on protocol adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.