Goblin Series C: protocol Round

What follows about protocol is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

Goblin children, taught about protocol in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Three Goblins Discuss void

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as void. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of throne

In the goblin underground, throne is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

And, finally, in the matter of protocol: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.