Three Goblins Walked Into ritual

'You have to ask ritual the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

Engagement metrics on goblin posts about ritual follow a power law, as predicted, but the goblins note that the long tail is unusually long, suggesting that ritual is doing something to the algorithm that the algorithm hasn't told anyone about.

A Goblin Aside Concerning altman

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of altman, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

atlas and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as atlas. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about ritual becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.